Tag Archives: moving forward

Cheat night

12 Jul

The kids are gone for a couple of weeks with their dad. That means I have some very rare alone time. I got about 4 inches cut off of my hair earlier today. 

It is a gorgeous summer evening in Texas. The breeze is blowing. It’s 8:30 at night and I’m sitting on an awesome patio enjoying some fresh air and having sangria.   A little Tone Loc playing. Usually, I’m fishing the bedtime routine with the kids and stuck inside the house until morning. I miss them like crazy. But this?  It’s lovely. 
I’m sure there is sugar in this beverage and it is so delicious!!  

Sometimes, it’s good to take a minute for yourself and relax. Breathe some fresh air. Be still. 

Thank you for coming along on my journey!  Cheers!

-Sarah

Happy New Year.

6 Jan

2012 can kiss my ass! 

I survived it – that’s about all I can say about how I feel about it!  It was a very difficult year for me, and I don’t ever want to repeat anything like it again.  BUT, I grew so much, and became a much better person as a result of it all.

I’m really looking forward to 2013 – a year of new beginnings.  I looked at my resolutions from last year — many I accomplished… some I didn’t.

  1. We didn’t make our beds every morning.  We hardly ever make our beds.
  2. Stayed in the house, and refinanced it.  No need to worry about a move.
  3. I simplified some parts of life, and learned to let go.  I put some systems into place.
  4. I had a really fun time with the children this year.

Now, it’s time to look at new resolutions for 2013; they will look much different from last year:

  1. Kids clean their room each night before bed, and clean up toys before moving on to the next activity.  I keep my bedroom and kitchen clean every day.
  2. Cook healthy meals 5 nights a week.  Send lunch to school with Big Girl.
  3. Spend time with friends at least once a month.  Invite friends to do things.  Entertain more.
  4. Save money, and stick to my budget.
  5. Focus on my career, and make changes where needed.
  6. Enjoy my children.

The beginning of the year seems to be a time of cleansing for me.  Today, I am tackling my bedroom.  It is full of clutter and I’m going to work on getting it cleaned up. Emptying everything from the room, except for the bed – dust, vacuum, reorganize and rearrange!  I’m starting with me.

I’m also putting together a menu plan for this week’s dinners and going to the grocery store.

Happy new year.  Wishing you all of the best for a fun, happy, healthy and prosperous 2013.

Welcome to my next chapter.

Sarah

That was painful.

22 Dec

I just kissed my babies and sent them with their dad for the entire week.

Yes, it sucks.  I can’t believe I won’t be with them on Christmas.  How is that even possible?  I can’t even process it because it just isn’t real to me that I won’t be with them on Christmas and Christmas Eve.  I can’t believe it’s here, and really happening.  I’ve been ignoring the reality, and will continue to do so until the day is here.

My daughter was in tears; I was holding back tears as they drove away with their dad.  It was absolutely horrible!

This just isn’t right.  How did we get here?  This is solely me and my ex-husband’s fault, that we have torn my childrens world in two.  I remember these Christmases as a child.  It was fun where you were, but you were so desperately missing the other parent.  I hate us for doing this to them.  They deserve better.  We deserved better.

I’m not saying I want to go back, but I wish we could eliminate any impact on the kids.  I know, I’m a little crazy – I want it both ways.

Welcome to my next chapter.

Sarah

What a difference a year makes.

19 Dec

I didn’t know how I would feel today.  It’s been one full year since I started this blog so Happy Blogiversary to me!

However, I started this blog one year ago because I had to release some emotion.  My then husband moved out of our home, and I needed an outlet (see Moving Day).  I needed a place to sort out my feelings and emotions, and to let it out.  At the time, I didn’t know how I felt.  I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t know where to go.  I didn’t know what I was doing.  I didn’t know what was going to happen.  I was terrified, relieved, sad, worried, tired, and anxious.

One year ago. 

It’s unbelievable and remarkable how much has changed in one year.  Mostly good things have happened.  Some really difficult things have happened.  My life has dramatically changed as has my outlook on just about everything.

One year ago.

  • I started this blog.  I met a lot of amazing people whose journeys I follow, and whom I think about and pray for in real life.  I love writing this blog, and I’m so thankful for those of you that follow along.
  • My then husband moved out of our home.
  • I spent Christmas with our children, without my then husband.  I didn’t miss him.
  • My then husband bought a new car, and told me after the fact.  He also said he wanted to get back together.
  • I finalized the divorce.  I went to court a married woman, and left divorced.  I cried like I have never cried before.  I felt completely defeated and alone.  I felt like a utter and total failure in life.
  • I didn’t know what to do or how to move forward, but I knew I couldn’t stay stagnant.
  • My dad took my ex-husband’s side.  Then mine.
  • My mom supported me 200% without ever wavering.  She was my rock and my strength, and I need to tell her.
  • I refinanced my home and I stayed in my home.  That means, I don’t disrupt the kids; they stay at the same schools, and keep their routines.
  • I cleaned out some clutter, beginning with a new bed and cleaning the closet, and the kitchen, and the bathroom, and the kids rooms, and the attic.  I reorganized, and got rid of a lot of junk.  I’m afraid this job will never be done!
  • I learned how to remove and then replace a doorknob.
  • I became a better cook.
  • I learned where to find good deals, cut coupons, and save money.
  • I learned how to hook up my TV to cable.
  • I mowed the lawn.  I planted some flowers.
  • I made a lot of new friends in the neighborhood.
  • I entertained people at my home; I got invited to parties.
  • I worked really hard.
  • I loved my children.
  • I prayed a lot.  I need to pray a lot more.
  • I got really sick.  I got better.
  • I leaned on others and asked for help.
  • I found reliable people to help me — babysitter, dog sitter, handyman, friends, and family.

I made it through the year of separation, and am so glad it is over.  It has been a life-changing, roller coaster year!  And I finally can say that I am happier, that I am happy.  For the first time in a very long time, if not ever, I am happy.  I am grateful and thankful and appreciative of everything I have, and all of those who are part of my life.  I am happy in just loving my kids.  That’s all I need.  And, yet, I’ve gotten so much more than I ever deserve.

I’ve learned that I can’t do it all alone, and I have to ask for help.  I’ve learned that family is everything in this life, and I am so fortunate and blessed to have such a wonderful, and supportive family.  I’ve learned that the more love you give, the more you receive.  I’ve learned to let go of the negative and focus on the positive.

It’s been an amazing year of growth and transition… and thank you for being here with me.  It has simultaneously been the best and worst year of my life.  I don’t ever want another year like this one; the bad days were really bad, but the good days have been amazing.  I want more amazing days, and fewer hellish days.   I have a completely new outlook on life.  I have a bright future ahead.  It’s not always going to be easy, but I can do it.  I made it through this year, right?!

I’m ready for what life has to offer.  2013… Bring it on!

Welcome to my next chapter.

Sarah

Thanksgiving, 2012.

26 Nov

I had the children for Thanksgiving this year.  We are celebrated with my brother and his adorable family, who are some of my biggest supporters and dearest friends.  We had a wonderful time!  We ate way too much; we shopped way to early; we had a lot of laughs.  In addition, we did lots of activities with the kids – made ornaments, went to the park, and just played.

I have so many things to be thankful for this year.

1. Moving forward after the divorce.

2. Finding some sources of fun and support.

3. Making new friends, and catching up with old friends.

4. Support and love from family and friends.

5.  My precious children whom I adore, and thank God for every day.

6.  Health and happiness.

Those are the big things.  Those are the important things.  It was a great Thanksgiving.  I am blessed.

Welcome to my journey!
Sarah

Reflecting.

14 Nov

It’s been almost a year since I separated from my husband, almost a year since I started this blog, and almost a year since last Thanksgiving.  Last Thanksgiving was the first holiday my ex-husband and I spent apart.  I was tormented with conflicted emotions, and didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t want to get divorced, but knew I it was the right choice.  I didn’t know what I was going to do, where I was going to live, if everything would be okay, how my kids would respond…  So much uncertainty.

Today, though, things are very different.  Today, I am looking forward to Thanksgiving and spending it with family.  I am excited to cook and play with the kids, and eat too much, and get up way too early to shop with my money.

Today, I have plans and goals, and the cloud of uncertainty is burning away.  I have freedom and independence.  The sunshine in beaming in.

I am proud of my family.  I am proud of my children.

Today, I am moving forward.  I am living life.  I am confident, and  I am not afraid anymore (not very often, at least)!  I have had friends come out of the wood work.  I have found solutions for childcare, and dogsitters and anything else I need.  I have support.

I have a family.

I am moving forward.

I am happy.

Welcome to my journey.

Sarah

Haircut.

25 Aug

I got my haircut today.  First haircut since last October. Yes, folks, it’s been almost a full year since I got my haircut. It was in sad shape and was so poofy and fluffy.  I have been wearing it in a ponytail all summer because that’s all I could do with it!!  And my bangs… I have cut them several times, and they were crooked and horrible!

So, I did the walk of shame to my hair salon today with my sad looking hair, and worried that my hairdresser would think I had been cheating on her.  She didn’t think that for one second!  She took one look at my ponytail and  immediately said “sit down so we can talk about this”.   It was so obvious that nobody else had cut this mop on my head!

Then, after looking at and running her fingers through my crazy mane, she said she wanted to do something for me.  She said the grey in front of my hair was distracting her, and she wanted to color my hair to cover the grey… ON HER!!  FREE COLOR!!  Yippee… Now, I am sure this is gateway color, and she is counting on more paid color from me in the future. But, still, what a surprise… and I love the color – very subtle, but covers the grey beautifully.

Love my new, trendy, layered cut.  And the beautiful color.

Welcome to my journey!

Sarah