Tag Archives: family

Cheat night

12 Jul

The kids are gone for a couple of weeks with their dad. That means I have some very rare alone time. I got about 4 inches cut off of my hair earlier today. 

It is a gorgeous summer evening in Texas. The breeze is blowing. It’s 8:30 at night and I’m sitting on an awesome patio enjoying some fresh air and having sangria.   A little Tone Loc playing. Usually, I’m fishing the bedtime routine with the kids and stuck inside the house until morning. I miss them like crazy. But this?  It’s lovely. 
I’m sure there is sugar in this beverage and it is so delicious!!  

Sometimes, it’s good to take a minute for yourself and relax. Breathe some fresh air. Be still. 

Thank you for coming along on my journey!  Cheers!

-Sarah

30 Day Sugar Cleanse

8 Jul

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For the second consecutive month, I am doing a sugar cleanse.  Now, when you hear cleanse, you may have thoughts of expensive green juice, complicated diets, colonics and frequent trips to the restroom.

Honestly, that’s just way too hard for me.  I just want to be a little healthier, and help my kids be healthy and happy as well.  And, I need a little accountability!

Here’s what I do…  don’t eat any refined or processed sugar.  Now, I am not perfect, but for me, I define this as no sugary sweets or desserts.  We eat tons of fruit, and I know that sugar is added to many foods that we don’t even realize contain sugar.  But, I’m busy so I’m all about making healthy choices that are easy to define and follow for me and my family.

What do I do?

I keep a box under my desk at work with healthy snacks. Right now, I have almonds and crackers.  Going to the store today to stock up on more.  This week, I plan to take yogurt, cheese, and some fruit to snack on.  (Yes, these contain some sugar, but the overall health benefits outweigh the negative impact of the sugar.  Right?!  Remember, my definition is no sugary desserts and sweets.)

I stock my pantry and refrigerator with healthy food and snacks.  I’m just not going to buy the junk.  That way, it isn’t convenient.  I already freed my pantry and refrigerator for June so that’s already done.

Have you done this before?  What are some tips and tricks you have to stick with it?

Thanks for coming along on my journey.

Sarah

Family

2 Jul

Let’s be honest here… Life is wonderful and magical and delightful.  Life is also full of tragedy and heartache and pain.  It’s agonizing and amazing all at once.

My son is having a difficult time.  His behavior can be a challenge.  I worry about him ALL OF THE TIME.  He is a wonderful child – smart, creative, funny, kind, helpful, loving.  But at the same time, he can be impulsive and angry and disruptive.

My ex and I do not get along well.  Oh, we try to in front of the kids.  I try really hard to make it look like everything is fine.  We don’t co-parent as well as we could. The kids are onto it.  They know.  You can cut the tension with a knife.

WE MUST DO BETTER FOR OUR CHILDREN…  FOR OUR FAMILY.

Healthy living

It’s time for change… for all of us.

I’ve made a list of things I am going to work on in the next 6 months to help to improve our lives, our health and our family.  I started a “no sugar” diet for the month of June and I did okay.  I cheated some, but overall did well.  I have more energy, feel better and my legs and belly are a little smaller, too.  I’m doing it again for July.

  1. Address my work commute.  My office and my home are too far away, and it keeps me away from home too long during the day.
  2. Address our health and nutrition.  I have replaced all cleaners and skincare and cosmetics with non-toxic products.  Next, we need to focus on the chemicals and toxins in our food.  My son and I both have a sweet tooth so this is going to be hard!
  3. Address the relationship with my ex-husband to allow us to co-parent better.
  4. Address my son’s difficulty and anger.  Much of the above will help.

Thank you for joining my journey.

Sarah

 

I’m Back!

14 Jan

Hi!  It’s been almost 4 years since I have written on this blog!  I’m back and am so happy to be writing here again!  I’ve really missed this blog.

Let me catch you up on where my life is today.  I have aged a few years since my last writing!  So have my kids. No diapers, no bottles and no more baby food in this house!  Some things are so much easier, but I miss my babies!  I love my child, and my emerging adult so much!  Now, we have independence, privacy, hormones, constantly changing emotions, homework, friends in and out, cell phones, drama!  It’s crazy busy and so much fun to watch them grow up!

I left that crappy job for one I love.  I miss working from home, but being in the office and around people was just what I needed at the time.  I love my job and feel fortunate to have had an opportunity to do lots of different things there.

I feel like I have a part-time job as a chauffeur to my children – taking them to practices and parties and friends and events and…  the list never ends!  And the logistical coordination of all of this sometimes makes me crazy!!

I have developed a great support network of friends for me and my kids.  With no family within  250 miles, a great network of friends has been invaluable for me.  They help me out and I help them out.

What I have learned in these last few years has been incredible though.  I really don’t define myself as a single mom, even though I am.  I am a full time mom just like any other mom.  I am a working mom, just like many moms.

I had some hard times, just like every single person in this world.  Your hard times aren’t like mine, but we all have hard times.  And, we all have great times.   I have learned to accept that we aren’t trying to avoid the hard times, because the hard times will come.  We get stronger through them and dig ourselves out with hard work and tenacity and focus and determination and grit and tears. And we make it to the other side stronger and different.

I’ve learned to see the beauty in grief and loss and change.  It’s part of our human being… to experience all of the good and bad that life gives us.  It’s up to us to get through it. It’s hard as hell.  And, it’s wonderful and beautiful and messy and hard and gut-wrenching, at times.

I’ve learned to be more appreciative and to enjoy the good times.

I have learned to enjoy this messy life that I have.

-Sarah

So, that’s why I feel like crap all of the time!

3 Mar

I’ve seen more doctors in the last three to six months than I care to ever see again.  And, it’s not over.  I’ve got three more appointments scheduled for myself this month, and at least two more to schedule.

The good news is that I finally have a diagnosis for my horrible symptoms which have been causing me so much trouble since June 2012.  I went in for testing on Monday, and found out that I have Crohn’s Disease.  I’m a little sad to have been diagnosed with a chronic illness, but I already know I had one since I’ve been suffering with the symptoms for most of my life anyway.  The good news is that Chron’s can be treated with medication, and I should start to feel much better very soon.  I’ve just been on my medication for a few days, and already, I have so much more energy and am much less tired.

While I was under general anesthesia on Monday, there were some issues with my heart, and my gastroenterologist referred me to a cardiologist with concerns that I may have a troubling heart condition.  I see the cardiologist tomorrow.  I’m pretty scared.

My wonderful mom has been my rock, and my friends have been amazing.  My mom was here all of last week, went to the appointment with me on Monday and stayed for several days.  She is going to try to fly to my house tomorrow to go to the cardiologist with me as well.  We’re all a little more concerned with that than the Chrone’s… for now.

I’m saying lots of prayers, and hoping that all is okay. 

Welcome to my next chapter.

Sarah

Happy New Year.

6 Jan

2012 can kiss my ass! 

I survived it – that’s about all I can say about how I feel about it!  It was a very difficult year for me, and I don’t ever want to repeat anything like it again.  BUT, I grew so much, and became a much better person as a result of it all.

I’m really looking forward to 2013 – a year of new beginnings.  I looked at my resolutions from last year — many I accomplished… some I didn’t.

  1. We didn’t make our beds every morning.  We hardly ever make our beds.
  2. Stayed in the house, and refinanced it.  No need to worry about a move.
  3. I simplified some parts of life, and learned to let go.  I put some systems into place.
  4. I had a really fun time with the children this year.

Now, it’s time to look at new resolutions for 2013; they will look much different from last year:

  1. Kids clean their room each night before bed, and clean up toys before moving on to the next activity.  I keep my bedroom and kitchen clean every day.
  2. Cook healthy meals 5 nights a week.  Send lunch to school with Big Girl.
  3. Spend time with friends at least once a month.  Invite friends to do things.  Entertain more.
  4. Save money, and stick to my budget.
  5. Focus on my career, and make changes where needed.
  6. Enjoy my children.

The beginning of the year seems to be a time of cleansing for me.  Today, I am tackling my bedroom.  It is full of clutter and I’m going to work on getting it cleaned up. Emptying everything from the room, except for the bed – dust, vacuum, reorganize and rearrange!  I’m starting with me.

I’m also putting together a menu plan for this week’s dinners and going to the grocery store.

Happy new year.  Wishing you all of the best for a fun, happy, healthy and prosperous 2013.

Welcome to my next chapter.

Sarah

It wasn’t so bad.

27 Dec

In fact, it was pretty good.

And the angel said unto them, Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people.  Luke 2:10

My wonderful mom and my step-dad came into town to spend Christmas with me.  We stayed so busy which kept my mind off of other things, and we had so much fun.  I spent a lot of time getting the house just right… clean, decorated, gifts wrapped and under the tree.  The lights were on outside, and everything was just about perfect when they arrived.

We purchased lots of baby things for a charity so we could provide a wonderful donation to families in need during this winter season.  We went to church on Christmas Eve and then onto a fantastic steak restaurant for dinner.  Food was so good; we drank wine; we laughed a lot.

Christmas morning, my kids called, and we were able to connect on FaceTime.  I was able to watch them open their stockings and their Santa gifts (which my ex-husband and I purchased jointly).  They were so excited and so cute.  After opening each gift, they ran to the phone to show it to me.  It made the morning so much better that I got to participate a little bit in their Christmas.  I think they liked that too.

Then, we opened our gifts.  My parents were too generous with me and I think they liked their gifts as well.  Later that day, we drove out to a resort which is known for its amazing Christmas decorations.  We walked around, drank hot chocolate, and laughed a little more.

Then it snowed!

I don’t generally like snow, but on Christmas day, I think it is magical!  We came home to make dinner.  We had an amazing dinner planned: beef tenderloin, pork tenderloin, squash casserole, beer bread, green salad, and mashed potatoes.  As we opened the oven door to put the casserole in, it shattered.  The front glass of the oven door shattered into a million pieces, scattered all over the kitchen, and into the squash casserole.

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Of course, the oven shattered BEFORE we had cooked any of the dinner!!  We had to throw away the squash casserole, and then slice the tenderloins and fry them on the stove!  Still tasted good, but just not the same!

The table looked amazing though, and we had a fun dinner with good wine!  Good wine helped a lot!

I hope you and your families, whatever they look like this year, had a wonderful Christmas.  Find your blessings and count them.  My kids come home tomorrow, and I cannot wait to celebrate Christmas with them on Saturday morning!

Welcome to my next chapter!

Sarah

 

 

That was painful.

22 Dec

I just kissed my babies and sent them with their dad for the entire week.

Yes, it sucks.  I can’t believe I won’t be with them on Christmas.  How is that even possible?  I can’t even process it because it just isn’t real to me that I won’t be with them on Christmas and Christmas Eve.  I can’t believe it’s here, and really happening.  I’ve been ignoring the reality, and will continue to do so until the day is here.

My daughter was in tears; I was holding back tears as they drove away with their dad.  It was absolutely horrible!

This just isn’t right.  How did we get here?  This is solely me and my ex-husband’s fault, that we have torn my childrens world in two.  I remember these Christmases as a child.  It was fun where you were, but you were so desperately missing the other parent.  I hate us for doing this to them.  They deserve better.  We deserved better.

I’m not saying I want to go back, but I wish we could eliminate any impact on the kids.  I know, I’m a little crazy – I want it both ways.

Welcome to my next chapter.

Sarah

What a difference a year makes.

19 Dec

I didn’t know how I would feel today.  It’s been one full year since I started this blog so Happy Blogiversary to me!

However, I started this blog one year ago because I had to release some emotion.  My then husband moved out of our home, and I needed an outlet (see Moving Day).  I needed a place to sort out my feelings and emotions, and to let it out.  At the time, I didn’t know how I felt.  I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t know where to go.  I didn’t know what I was doing.  I didn’t know what was going to happen.  I was terrified, relieved, sad, worried, tired, and anxious.

One year ago. 

It’s unbelievable and remarkable how much has changed in one year.  Mostly good things have happened.  Some really difficult things have happened.  My life has dramatically changed as has my outlook on just about everything.

One year ago.

  • I started this blog.  I met a lot of amazing people whose journeys I follow, and whom I think about and pray for in real life.  I love writing this blog, and I’m so thankful for those of you that follow along.
  • My then husband moved out of our home.
  • I spent Christmas with our children, without my then husband.  I didn’t miss him.
  • My then husband bought a new car, and told me after the fact.  He also said he wanted to get back together.
  • I finalized the divorce.  I went to court a married woman, and left divorced.  I cried like I have never cried before.  I felt completely defeated and alone.  I felt like a utter and total failure in life.
  • I didn’t know what to do or how to move forward, but I knew I couldn’t stay stagnant.
  • My dad took my ex-husband’s side.  Then mine.
  • My mom supported me 200% without ever wavering.  She was my rock and my strength, and I need to tell her.
  • I refinanced my home and I stayed in my home.  That means, I don’t disrupt the kids; they stay at the same schools, and keep their routines.
  • I cleaned out some clutter, beginning with a new bed and cleaning the closet, and the kitchen, and the bathroom, and the kids rooms, and the attic.  I reorganized, and got rid of a lot of junk.  I’m afraid this job will never be done!
  • I learned how to remove and then replace a doorknob.
  • I became a better cook.
  • I learned where to find good deals, cut coupons, and save money.
  • I learned how to hook up my TV to cable.
  • I mowed the lawn.  I planted some flowers.
  • I made a lot of new friends in the neighborhood.
  • I entertained people at my home; I got invited to parties.
  • I worked really hard.
  • I loved my children.
  • I prayed a lot.  I need to pray a lot more.
  • I got really sick.  I got better.
  • I leaned on others and asked for help.
  • I found reliable people to help me — babysitter, dog sitter, handyman, friends, and family.

I made it through the year of separation, and am so glad it is over.  It has been a life-changing, roller coaster year!  And I finally can say that I am happier, that I am happy.  For the first time in a very long time, if not ever, I am happy.  I am grateful and thankful and appreciative of everything I have, and all of those who are part of my life.  I am happy in just loving my kids.  That’s all I need.  And, yet, I’ve gotten so much more than I ever deserve.

I’ve learned that I can’t do it all alone, and I have to ask for help.  I’ve learned that family is everything in this life, and I am so fortunate and blessed to have such a wonderful, and supportive family.  I’ve learned that the more love you give, the more you receive.  I’ve learned to let go of the negative and focus on the positive.

It’s been an amazing year of growth and transition… and thank you for being here with me.  It has simultaneously been the best and worst year of my life.  I don’t ever want another year like this one; the bad days were really bad, but the good days have been amazing.  I want more amazing days, and fewer hellish days.   I have a completely new outlook on life.  I have a bright future ahead.  It’s not always going to be easy, but I can do it.  I made it through this year, right?!

I’m ready for what life has to offer.  2013… Bring it on!

Welcome to my next chapter.

Sarah

Thanksgiving, 2012.

26 Nov

I had the children for Thanksgiving this year.  We are celebrated with my brother and his adorable family, who are some of my biggest supporters and dearest friends.  We had a wonderful time!  We ate way too much; we shopped way to early; we had a lot of laughs.  In addition, we did lots of activities with the kids – made ornaments, went to the park, and just played.

I have so many things to be thankful for this year.

1. Moving forward after the divorce.

2. Finding some sources of fun and support.

3. Making new friends, and catching up with old friends.

4. Support and love from family and friends.

5.  My precious children whom I adore, and thank God for every day.

6.  Health and happiness.

Those are the big things.  Those are the important things.  It was a great Thanksgiving.  I am blessed.

Welcome to my journey!
Sarah