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Cheat night

12 Jul

The kids are gone for a couple of weeks with their dad. That means I have some very rare alone time. I got about 4 inches cut off of my hair earlier today. 

It is a gorgeous summer evening in Texas. The breeze is blowing. It’s 8:30 at night and I’m sitting on an awesome patio enjoying some fresh air and having sangria.   A little Tone Loc playing. Usually, I’m fishing the bedtime routine with the kids and stuck inside the house until morning. I miss them like crazy. But this?  It’s lovely. 
I’m sure there is sugar in this beverage and it is so delicious!!  

Sometimes, it’s good to take a minute for yourself and relax. Breathe some fresh air. Be still. 

Thank you for coming along on my journey!  Cheers!


When it Rains, it Pours… Literally!

16 Jan

Did you happen to watch the Dallas Cowboys play Green Bay last night?  It was a great game, a nail biter to the very end. Our beloved Dallas Cowboys lost in the last 3 seconds of the game!

Almost immediately after the game, bad weather hit the Dallas/Ft. Worth metroplex, bringing with it high winds, pounding rain, and a few tornados!  Mother Nature was not happy about the Cowboys’ loss!!  

I live in the area. Thankfully, the tornados steered clear of my home however, the wind and rain came howling through!!  This is what I woke up to this morning!!

One tree fell onto the house!!!!  Fortunately, it’s not a large tree and did not damage the house.  It made a mess though!  The kids thought it was awesome!!!

When it rains, it pours!  And sometimes, trees fall down!  And when they do, we clean up and keep moving. 


The Mondays…

9 Apr

I usually spend the better part of Sunday intensely stressed out about the week to come, about the job that I dread, and all of the things that I need to accomplish personally.  I feel so behind, and it all comes together on Sundays as I try to prepare for the week to come.

I have a new babysitter who is wonderful and who is so helpful.  She has alleviated so much of my stress!

And,  Monday night is my favorite TV night of the week… The Voice and Revolution!

  Revolution Logo

I just love to watch The Voice.  My daughter and I have TV night on Mondays and Tuesdays and watch it together.  We get so into the contestants and the judges!  We both have a little crush on Adam Levine!

And, Revolution… I am so hooked on this show!  I have never been so into a show before!  Last night, I watched, and got so lost in the story that I was stressed out and had heartburn!!

Little something for me to look forward to at the beginning of a difficult week.

Welcome to my next chapter!



All the Single Mamas.

6 Feb

Well, the sickness is continuing in our house.

I am having a major flare up of my health condition, necessitating the need to see a specialist and have some additional testing done. I am feeling a little better, but am exhausted!!

My son has continued to be sick, Almost constantly since New Year’s. He has had pink eye, croup, pink eye, vomiting, and some sort of throat virus with a high fever.

All of this has necessitated my missing a lot of work. I have missed the last two days, and tomorrow, being with with my sick son.

I talked about it with my boss today, to acknowledge my absences and to see if he had any suggestions that may help at work. I am using my available vacation to cover these days, which he appreciated.

That’s where it fell apart. He asked if I had my son in an unsanitary day are facility. He suggested that I send him to school sick, even going so far to say that I needed to find a facility which will take sick children. My son has had over 102 fever for 2 days and is contagious; I am not going to drop him off anywhere! He asked why my mom can’t watch him, despite the fact that she lives a 3 hour plane ride away and has a life of her own.

He also suggested that I look into getting a nanny. I explained that a nanny costs more than I can afford. When I had a nanny, he said I was not flexible enough and suggested that I look into daycare. Either way, I lose!

Then, he said that work cannot continue to be the only place that I make sacrifices!! I almost lost it, but I maintained my composure… Barely!

First of all, I was asking him what I could do differently at work, and he proceeds to tell me what I should be doing in my personal life. Really, you don’t think I’ve already thought of all of those options?! Are you kidding me?

Single working moms, how do you balance it all, especially when the kids are sick?

Welcome to my next chapter.

Happy New Year.

6 Jan

2012 can kiss my ass! 

I survived it – that’s about all I can say about how I feel about it!  It was a very difficult year for me, and I don’t ever want to repeat anything like it again.  BUT, I grew so much, and became a much better person as a result of it all.

I’m really looking forward to 2013 – a year of new beginnings.  I looked at my resolutions from last year — many I accomplished… some I didn’t.

  1. We didn’t make our beds every morning.  We hardly ever make our beds.
  2. Stayed in the house, and refinanced it.  No need to worry about a move.
  3. I simplified some parts of life, and learned to let go.  I put some systems into place.
  4. I had a really fun time with the children this year.

Now, it’s time to look at new resolutions for 2013; they will look much different from last year:

  1. Kids clean their room each night before bed, and clean up toys before moving on to the next activity.  I keep my bedroom and kitchen clean every day.
  2. Cook healthy meals 5 nights a week.  Send lunch to school with Big Girl.
  3. Spend time with friends at least once a month.  Invite friends to do things.  Entertain more.
  4. Save money, and stick to my budget.
  5. Focus on my career, and make changes where needed.
  6. Enjoy my children.

The beginning of the year seems to be a time of cleansing for me.  Today, I am tackling my bedroom.  It is full of clutter and I’m going to work on getting it cleaned up. Emptying everything from the room, except for the bed – dust, vacuum, reorganize and rearrange!  I’m starting with me.

I’m also putting together a menu plan for this week’s dinners and going to the grocery store.

Happy new year.  Wishing you all of the best for a fun, happy, healthy and prosperous 2013.

Welcome to my next chapter.


What a difference a year makes.

19 Dec

I didn’t know how I would feel today.  It’s been one full year since I started this blog so Happy Blogiversary to me!

However, I started this blog one year ago because I had to release some emotion.  My then husband moved out of our home, and I needed an outlet (see Moving Day).  I needed a place to sort out my feelings and emotions, and to let it out.  At the time, I didn’t know how I felt.  I didn’t know what to do.  I didn’t know where to go.  I didn’t know what I was doing.  I didn’t know what was going to happen.  I was terrified, relieved, sad, worried, tired, and anxious.

One year ago. 

It’s unbelievable and remarkable how much has changed in one year.  Mostly good things have happened.  Some really difficult things have happened.  My life has dramatically changed as has my outlook on just about everything.

One year ago.

  • I started this blog.  I met a lot of amazing people whose journeys I follow, and whom I think about and pray for in real life.  I love writing this blog, and I’m so thankful for those of you that follow along.
  • My then husband moved out of our home.
  • I spent Christmas with our children, without my then husband.  I didn’t miss him.
  • My then husband bought a new car, and told me after the fact.  He also said he wanted to get back together.
  • I finalized the divorce.  I went to court a married woman, and left divorced.  I cried like I have never cried before.  I felt completely defeated and alone.  I felt like a utter and total failure in life.
  • I didn’t know what to do or how to move forward, but I knew I couldn’t stay stagnant.
  • My dad took my ex-husband’s side.  Then mine.
  • My mom supported me 200% without ever wavering.  She was my rock and my strength, and I need to tell her.
  • I refinanced my home and I stayed in my home.  That means, I don’t disrupt the kids; they stay at the same schools, and keep their routines.
  • I cleaned out some clutter, beginning with a new bed and cleaning the closet, and the kitchen, and the bathroom, and the kids rooms, and the attic.  I reorganized, and got rid of a lot of junk.  I’m afraid this job will never be done!
  • I learned how to remove and then replace a doorknob.
  • I became a better cook.
  • I learned where to find good deals, cut coupons, and save money.
  • I learned how to hook up my TV to cable.
  • I mowed the lawn.  I planted some flowers.
  • I made a lot of new friends in the neighborhood.
  • I entertained people at my home; I got invited to parties.
  • I worked really hard.
  • I loved my children.
  • I prayed a lot.  I need to pray a lot more.
  • I got really sick.  I got better.
  • I leaned on others and asked for help.
  • I found reliable people to help me — babysitter, dog sitter, handyman, friends, and family.

I made it through the year of separation, and am so glad it is over.  It has been a life-changing, roller coaster year!  And I finally can say that I am happier, that I am happy.  For the first time in a very long time, if not ever, I am happy.  I am grateful and thankful and appreciative of everything I have, and all of those who are part of my life.  I am happy in just loving my kids.  That’s all I need.  And, yet, I’ve gotten so much more than I ever deserve.

I’ve learned that I can’t do it all alone, and I have to ask for help.  I’ve learned that family is everything in this life, and I am so fortunate and blessed to have such a wonderful, and supportive family.  I’ve learned that the more love you give, the more you receive.  I’ve learned to let go of the negative and focus on the positive.

It’s been an amazing year of growth and transition… and thank you for being here with me.  It has simultaneously been the best and worst year of my life.  I don’t ever want another year like this one; the bad days were really bad, but the good days have been amazing.  I want more amazing days, and fewer hellish days.   I have a completely new outlook on life.  I have a bright future ahead.  It’s not always going to be easy, but I can do it.  I made it through this year, right?!

I’m ready for what life has to offer.  2013… Bring it on!

Welcome to my next chapter.


Thanksgiving, 2012.

26 Nov

I had the children for Thanksgiving this year.  We are celebrated with my brother and his adorable family, who are some of my biggest supporters and dearest friends.  We had a wonderful time!  We ate way too much; we shopped way to early; we had a lot of laughs.  In addition, we did lots of activities with the kids – made ornaments, went to the park, and just played.

I have so many things to be thankful for this year.

1. Moving forward after the divorce.

2. Finding some sources of fun and support.

3. Making new friends, and catching up with old friends.

4. Support and love from family and friends.

5.  My precious children whom I adore, and thank God for every day.

6.  Health and happiness.

Those are the big things.  Those are the important things.  It was a great Thanksgiving.  I am blessed.

Welcome to my journey!

It’s tough.

17 Nov

Does it ever seem normal to watch your kids go with their dad for the weekend?  I’m beginning to feel more comfortable with it; I’m not as lonely or bored as I once was when they were gone.  I take advantage of the time to see friends, catch up on sleep, and run errands – things I can’t do when they are at home.  However, it’s so hard to let them go.

Last night, they left before I got home  from work.  That was tough, especially since I was expecting to see them, but got stuck in traffic for 2 1/2 hours on my commute home!!  So I missed them.  However, I noticed that my ex-husband had forgotten my son’s medicine so they had to come back (in the last 10 days, my son has had both strep throat and an ear infection).  I took the medicine out to the car so the kids didn’t have to get out.  Putting them back in the car would have been nearly impossible.  I went out to the car, and gave big hugs and kisses, heard about their day.  But, when I went around to my son’s side, he raised his arms in the air and said “up, up, up…. Mommy, up!”.  I couldn’t get him out of the car or it would have been even more difficult.  When I said “no”, the crying and tears began.  I felt so helpless.  My sweet baby crying; all he wanted to do was see his mommy, and I couldn’t help him.  He had to go.  I knew he would have a good time.  But, I am haunted all weekend by his cries and sweet face looking at me, depending on me.

Truly, it sucks.

The kids are always on the road, always missing one of us.  I hate it for them.

Now, the children are with their dad, at his sister’s house, having a blast.  They are cooking for Thanksgiving, helping put lights on wreaths, and decorate for Christmas.  They are having a ball.  But, I miss them, and all I can hear in my head are my sweet son’s cries for mommy.

Welcome to my journey!


Locked Out.

14 Nov

Somehow, this evening, I locked myself and the kids out of the master bathroom!  I locked the door to keep Baby Boy out, and locked us all out!  As I tried to unlock the door using a screwdriver, my mind began to wander.  What if someone snuck into the house, crept into the bathroom, locked the door, and is hiding in there until the time was right to… ATTACK?!  My mind kept going, but I decided to feed the kiddos before dealing with it anymore.

After dinner, I asked Big Girl to call her dad… just in case, I decided to deal with the locked door!  That way, someone would know if I did get attacked!  I jimmied it around for a few minutes with the screwdriver inserted into the   stupid hole where a key would go, but there is no  key!  So, I took the doorknob off and unlocked it from the inside.  Then, after I was sure that nobody was hiding in the bathroom (whew), I put the doorknob back on.

I know, it’s not much, but it’s the first time I’ve even attempted to do anything with doorknob repair so I was pretty proud of myself.  Being my own handyman is not a fun part of single parenthood!

But, I’m learning each and every time, and next time, I’ll have this mastered.  It’s only a matter of time before one of the kids locks him/her self into a room!!!

Welcome to my journey!


20 Years.

25 Oct

I went to my 20th year high school reunion last weekend.  As I believe most people do, I had mixed emotions about attending.  Being divorced, I would be attending everything alone. I was self conscience about being divorced, and being a single mom.  It’s not something I’m proud of, but it is my reality.  And our class was unusual.  A lot of cliques, a lot of mean girls, and a lot of really good, nice people.

I met up with a couple of my friends from high school (who I had really not seen in 20 years).  The three of us went to the first event together, and had such a fun time.   The group that night was small and I saw several people I really wanted to see.  It was so much fun!

Then, Saturday night was the big party… open bar, live band, tons of people.  It was amazeballs!!!!  I was introduced to a new drink, and had plenty of it!  Belvedere and cranberry with a splash of soda (try it, you will like it).  Amazeballs!  I’m usually a wine drinker, but this was the first party I had been to since the divorce so I decided to go out on a limb and do things differently.  Plus, I needed a little courage.  It was a little overwhelming… so many people to catch up with, and it’s been so long.

It was such a blast, so fun to get out on my own and have a good time. And to smile and to laugh.  Laugh a lot.  And not listening to anyone complaining about being bored, or getting drunk and embarrassing me, or just being an all-around jerk.  It’s such a different experience to enjoy myself without someone else constantly trying (and usually successfully) bringing me down and/or making me worry.

I felt so free and happy and good.  I felt good about where I am in life, and who I have become as a person.

I need to get out more!

Welcome to my journey!