Archive | August, 2012


25 Aug

I got my haircut today.  First haircut since last October. Yes, folks, it’s been almost a full year since I got my haircut. It was in sad shape and was so poofy and fluffy.  I have been wearing it in a ponytail all summer because that’s all I could do with it!!  And my bangs… I have cut them several times, and they were crooked and horrible!

So, I did the walk of shame to my hair salon today with my sad looking hair, and worried that my hairdresser would think I had been cheating on her.  She didn’t think that for one second!  She took one look at my ponytail and  immediately said “sit down so we can talk about this”.   It was so obvious that nobody else had cut this mop on my head!

Then, after looking at and running her fingers through my crazy mane, she said she wanted to do something for me.  She said the grey in front of my hair was distracting her, and she wanted to color my hair to cover the grey… ON HER!!  FREE COLOR!!  Yippee… Now, I am sure this is gateway color, and she is counting on more paid color from me in the future. But, still, what a surprise… and I love the color – very subtle, but covers the grey beautifully.

Love my new, trendy, layered cut.  And the beautiful color.

Welcome to my journey!



Organized Kitchen… Sort of!

19 Aug

I got really motivated this week, for some reason. Not sure why… lots of energy still from bronchitis medication, and feeling like tackling more house projects. I’ve been spending too much time on Pinterest and have so many ideas. I thought, first, though, I would start with cleaning and picking up the house. I spend a lot of time writing about cleaning my house. The clutter makes me feel cluttered inside! My house has never been so cluttered, and although, I’ve accomplished so much, room by room. The rooms that have not been organized are making me crazy… particularly the kitchen. When my kitchen is messy, I feel like my entire house is a wreck!

Since ex-husband moved out, I’ve organized my closet and bedroom, both kids’ rooms, the playroom, and the master bathroom. I need to go back through my closet and my daughter’s closet, but things have stayed organized since I got them the way I want them. Things have a place, and the kids know where thing belong so they can participate in maintaining the house, and taking care of their things. That’s a lot, and it feels so good, but I’ve got to finished getting this place in order, and to make if feel like my own! After I organize, I need to have a major Ebay/CraigsList sale. So much junk to get rid of.

So, I started on my kitchen this week. I didn’t have a specific plan, just a few things at a time throughout the week. Today, after the bits and pieces I took care of during the week, the kitchen looked so much better. The task didn’t seem so large, so tonight, I made a concerted effort to clear off the countertops, put things away, and throw things away. Drawers and cabinets were exempt from this project; that is an entirely different ballgame … as is the pantry.

I had stuff all over the countertops. Lots of paperwork and just stuff that doesn’t have a home. When we walk through the door, the kitchen is the first room we come to, and everything gets dropped there! So piles of crap pile up and get set aside to look at another time. I didn’t take any before pictures, but here are some “after” photos.


Also, this is the remaining pile of crap that I need to go through tomorrow – mostly art work, papers and such from school. Yes, summer is almost over, and the new school year begins next week. I still haven’t gone through all the paperwork from last school year. Whatever!!


I’d love to redo my cabinets and countertops – basic builder’s edition here. But, that’s a project for another year!

This place is starting to feel like my own.

Welcome to my journey!


Life is Fragile.

15 Aug

This is not what I expected today. 

This is Big Girl’s week to be with her dad all week.  She has been so excited about this week, and they have been having a ball.  He lives with his parents, and his sister and her family live a few blocks away.  My kids have a fun time there seeing lots of family and getting really spoiled.

This morning, Baby Boy and I got up and ready for the day.  We had some extra time so we decided to call ex-husband and Big Girl so he could say “good morning” before school.  No answer at 8:00. Unusual.

A few minutes later, ex husband called back.  Big Girl was still asleep.

There’s been an emergency. 

Overnight, ex-husband’s father suffered a stroke.  This morning, he was slurring his words, and unable to stand or walk.  They called 911, and the paramedics rushed him to the hospital.  After tests, observation and an MRI, it was determined that he had a stroke, and that he has early stages of Alzheimer’s.

And, just like that, our lives are forever changed.

I rushed to their house to pick up my daughter.  She had so many questions.  What happened to Pop Pop?  Why is he sick?  Why didn’t he just go to the doctor instead of the hospital?  What will they do to him at the hospital?

I tried to explain that they were trying to find out what was wrong with him so they could make him better, and the hospital is the best place to do that.  They have lots of doctors and nurses there who can take good care of him until he feels well enough to come home.  She heard me, but I think she is still really worried.  She can tell something is wrong.

Tonight, when she said her prayers, she prayed that Pop Pop didn’t have a death sickness, and that he got better soon.

 A hard reminder at how precious  and fragile life is.

I don’t know what the recovery will be like.  I don’t know if he will be able to speak normally, or walk on his own.  Time will tell.

I’ve been thinking about my role in this too.  With the divorce and separation being so recent, and our relationship being fairly amicable, I’m not sure what it should look like.  Do I reach out to his mother?  Do I offer to help or provide support?  Do I go over there?  All at the same time, remembering, that I am trying to set boundaries, and create separation and space.  So, I decided that it is my role to care for the children.  It is my role to help prepare my kids for whatever happens next.  Watching the illness progress.  Watching his health decline.  Answering their questions appropriately and truthfully.

So tonight, I hugged my little ones a little tighter.  I’m thankful for our health and loving family.  I’m praying for my ex-husband’s family, and for my children.

Welcome to my journey!


My date with the Plunger.

14 Aug

It was bound to happen; it was only a matter of time! Tonight, was my first date… with a plunger!

My precious Baby Boy LOVES water, and he really isn’t picky about where water comes from… as long as he can play in/with it. Bath time is such a joy for him! And, he loves the pool. However, he also believes that the toilet is his own private play land! I am watchful. I keep the bathroom doors closed and the toilet lids down. I keep an eye on the boy… Except when I don’t for just a few minutes.

That’s where it all started. He was playing in my room. I forgot to close my bathroom door. I found him playing in the toilet with two sippy cups. Toilet water all over the floor, and him! After a mid-afternoon bath to get that nasty water off of him, he was good to go, and I forgot about the incident.

However, upon flushing the toilet later that evening, I discovered a problem. First I heard a gurgle, gurgle, gurgle. Then, I noticed that the water was up to the top of the toilet! Are you kidding me?! More gurgle, gurgle. This is just what I need. The small male child must have left a little something in the drain to be fished out!

So, tonight, I got out my plunger, and plunged away. NOTHING. Plunged again. NOTHING. Plunge, plunge, plunge. NOTHING, NOTHING, NOTHING!!! Damn plunger! I can’t even get a good seal on the stupid toilet to make suction!


I got a wire hanger, untwisted it, and stuck it down the drain about 18 inches. Couldn’t feel a thing. Plunged again. Nothing.

So, I cleaned the toilet and mopped the floor. It’s ready for someone else to take a look. I guess I’ll call a plumber in the morning. I sure hope my new home warranty covers clogged toilets!


After the toilet drained… just bubbles left from cleaning the damn bowl.  No water.

Got any better ideas?

Welcome to my journey!


Things are looking up!

13 Aug

Things are looking up!  So thankful!  I am feeling so much better about everything. 

Last week, may daughter turned 6 years old.  Almost impossible to believe –  I am sure I will be saying that each year for fhe rest of my life on each of my children’s birthdays!  We had an amazing week!  I love birthdays, and I love to celebrate.  The night before her birthday, I put up a few decorations so the house was festive.  She got a small room redo so I had that all set up for her when she woke up.  Then, I took the day off , and we spent all day together, just the two of us.  We did some back to school shopping, and then lunch and more shopping at American Girl.  We had such a fun day!  We had her birthday party with friends on Saturday.  A delightful day painting with her friends.  She was so appreciative and thankful for all of her birthday surprises, celebrations and fun!  I just love that child.

Yesterday, the kids and I went to church for the first time in a really long time; it was much needed for all of us.  We got to church… late, as usual.  But, we made it.  During the children’s’ service, they allow the children to participate.  My daughter was way up front, and I took Baby Boy to the front and I held him.  He was fascinated and all smiles!  After the children said a prayer, and said “amen” all together, the church was silent. Baby Boy yelled out “AMEN!” at the top of his lungs.  It was priceless and joyful!  He has never said “amen” before. Lots of smiles and laughter and happiness.

After church, I dragged the kids all over town to run errands; we had breakfast; we shopped for sheets; we bought a new computer; and we went to the grocery store.  The kids were amazing.  No whining, no complaining, no asking me to buy extra crap we don’t need.  They played with each other, and listened and cooperated and helped.  We had a blast.  Lots of laughing throughout the day.

Ex husband has been generous enough to allow me to borrow his computer for the last month or so.  My desktop fried and I cannot use it anymore!  I bought a new laptop yesterday, and it is so nice to have my own computer again.  I can blog, and do anything I want without sharing!  Computers become such a personal space, and I’m glad I have my own!  I  probably need to change all of my passwords before I give his computer back to him!

Things are feeling normal again. 

I have actually enjoyed this last week.  Not forcing my way through it and grinning on the outside as I have to do sometimes.  I mean really enjoyed the week.  Such a nice place to be.

I even caught up on some boring paperwork today and filed a bunch of other boring stuff!

Welcome to my journey!


P.S.  Big Girl is with her dad this week.  Baby is in bed.  Why is “Team UmiZoomi” on?

Maybe this means I am coming out of the darkness.  I really hope so.  I’m ready to be happy and enjoy life.

Insomnia… Again

13 Aug

It’s Sunday night. Well, actually, it is EARLY Monday morning. Again, I cannot sleep!

Too much in my mind? Stress of the workweek to come? Unwinding after a fantastic week and weekend? Medicine? I am not sure what it is.

Interestingly enough, it was last Sunday night that I was awake until 4:00 am because I could not get to sleep. I have a feeling it is related strongly to the large amount if stress I feel about work right now. It’s tough.

I think I will go count some sheep or something. I should clean my house since I’m awake anyway!!

7:00 am will be here soon. My children will expect to be dressed and fed before school! I hope they are cooperative when they wake up – not typically the case on a Monday morning… For any of us. Especially when mommy doesn’t get enough sleep!!!

Good night… I hope!

Welcome to my journey!


No sleep for Me.

5 Aug

Medicine is kicking in! I’m finally starting to feel better. One of the side effects of the medication is a lot of energy, which has been great today. I was very focused, and got a lot accomplished… Something I haven’t been able to say for a long time!! The downside is that I am wide awake at 2:50 am. I haven’t fallen asleep yet! I usually go to sleep fairly early so this is unheard of for me!! I may be sleepy tomorrow, and have tons to do!!! Luckily, Bug Girl and Baby Boy are with their dad this weekend so I can sleep in if I need to. Baby needs to go to doctor tomorrow for likely ear infection. If he is sick, it could really ow down my day. Need to get an early start to get a few things done that I can’t do with a sick baby. Must go to sleep.


I have tried deep breathing, counting, praying, and laying still with eyes closed. Mind still racing with thoughts if the week and months ahead. But no sleep!

Welcome my journey!

Friendship and Laughter.

5 Aug

I had a fun week this week with some of my best girlfriends!  Thursday night, I had dinner with three dear friends.  I worked with two of them at a prior job, and one is a friend of theirs (now also, a friend of mine).  We have not all gotten together in years… and when I say years, I mean like 10 years!!  We’ve gotten together individually, just not all together.  It was so nice to get out of the house, get dressed up, and be social with adult conversation and everything!  I’m trying to build in more social opportunities for myself to keep me sane!  It’s weird how it is feast or famine.  I won’t have plans for weeks, and then tons of things going on!

Today, I went shopping with one of my dearest friends!  We spent 4 hours together, shopping and doing her baby registries!  It was so much fun.  We don’t get to spend time together nearly as frequently or for as long as we would like.  And, we are always interrupted on the phone by one of our kids!  It was so nice to let down, be myself, share WAY too much, and laugh and giggle.  I was relaxed for the first time in a long time, and it was fantastic.

Laughter and friendship are good for the soul. 

I need more laughter in my life.  I am blessed with the most amazing friends, but don’t get to see them as much as I would like.  Work and home and children are priorities and make getting together difficult.  I laugh with my kids all of the time.  I need some time to laugh with adults too – some balance and joy in a different way.

My new goal is to try to make some neighborhood friends.  I have some acquaintances, but I haven’t yet turned them in to friends… people that I spend time with.  I like to text; I am naturally shy, and I use it as a crutch.  Today, I decided to pick up the phone to call a mom in our neighborhood.  I was inviting her son over for dinner, but thought that I would call, chat, and continue to build the relationship with her, rather than just with our kids.  I could have texted, but we wouldn’t have chatted, and wouldn’t be one small step closer to being friends.

Taking small steps and trying to have a fun time.

Welcome to my journey.