Archive | June, 2012

Not Ready for Monday

17 Jun

Well, I am not at all ready to return to work tomorrow after Friday’s fiasco with my boss.

My legs broke out in hives over the weekend from the stress. I have literally scratched the skin off of my legs in a couple of place due to the constant irritation.

I worked about 6-8 hours this weekend, and am still behind. The workload is intense and ridiculous. My job is at least one and a half jobs. So much work load has been added recently, it’s just no longer reasonable… But I’m expected to do it, and do it well, and on time. It’s impossible. This was once a job that was pretty easy for me. The workload was manageable, and there was room to take on more. Now, I feel like I am doggy paddling with my head barely bobbing above the water.

The plan.. Tomorrow morning, I am going to call my boss to talk further about our conversation from Friday, and to follow up from the weekend. I blew up his email with follow up and requests for time off. I am going to ask for dates and times he allegedly heard my baby crying (any good HR professional knows you should ALWAYS have specifics when addressing an issue with another person). He has no idea that our daycare has an electronic time keeping system (similar to a time clock for employees) to capture children’s in and out times. Then, I will be high maintenance at daycare, request in/ out times on specific dates… And BOOM. Prove my innocence. And send to his boss as well… Just to clear my name once and for all.

I don’t like people making up untrue things about me. I have fully lost credibility in him as a manager and respect for him as a person. Unfortunate because I really did think he was such a good person at one time.

Unfortunate that he seems to be intentionally attempting to tarnish my reputation by questioning my work ethic, and attempting to tarnish my credibility by accusing me of lying to him (without actually saying it). He is extremely savvy, and knows exactly what he is doing. I just wish I knew why.

It’s gonna be a tough week. My goal is simply not to quit on the spot at some juncture this week! And to continue to perform to the best of my ability; I have a large team of people counting on me. I will not leave with a tarnished reputation or credibility. But… The writing is on the wall. I will leave sooner than later. Finishing touches on resume tomorrow then blasting out to just about everyone I know!!

Crazy. I just wish I could quit and be home to raise my kids. But, thanks to my ex-husband’s poor decisions, I am on my own… And not working really isn’t an option right now,

Welcome to my journey.

Good Neighbors.

17 Jun

Thursday was trash day.  I remembered to take the trash out BEFORE the trash truck came by to pick up.  This is a great improvement for me!!  I forget about as often as I remember!

I was out of town Thursday and Friday, and spent a good portion of Saturday working (Bad Day at Work), trying to catch up some from being out of the office Thursday and Friday for a work meeting.  So, I didn’t really notice, or remember, that I forgot to bring the trash cans up from the curb!!

My sweet neighbors, instead of knocking on my door and telling me what a horrible neighbor I am, simply brought the trash cans up to the house for me.  That is the difference between seeing the best and worst in people.  They assumed that I forgot, not that I was a stupid, lazy neighbor who doesn’t care enough about the neighborhood to even bring the trash cans away from the curb.  They were helpful and courteous when they didn’t have to be.  Might I even say neighborly.  Remember when neighbors used to help each other out?

I am so appreciative of their kindness.  Things are so crazy busy, and stressful right now, the smallest helpful things are huge for me.  I finally understand what it means to truly be thankful and grateful to others.

Now, I better remember to bring the trash cans up to the house next week, or I may be viewed as the lazy neighbor!!

Welcome to my journey!


Bad day at work.

16 Jun

I almost quit my job yesterday. My new boss, whom I used to be professional friends with, is being a real jerk.

Yesterday during a one on one conversation, he asked me if the kids were in daycare for the summer. After explaining that Big Girl had been at camp, and Baby Boy continued his regular day care routine… My boss stood up, closed the door, and asked my why he had heard a baby crying in the background when we had been on the phone recently. I have no idea what he is talking about . The poor baby is in daycare for 9-10 hours per day, and absolutely craves my attention he gets after he gets home. Yet my boss is not only accusing me of having him home with me. He is also accusing me of lying to him about it.

I work my ass off for him. I give up a ridiculous amount of my personal time for that company. I have a ridiculous workload.

For him to even insinuate that I am home with my children instead of working is insulting and hurtful. I would love to be home with my children. I feel like my job had not allowed me to do so many things with them that I would love to do. I am emotionally and physically drained at the end of the workday. I have sacrificed a great deal of my personal life and time with my children for this job.

During the same conversation, he also told me that I needed to try to be more flexible with my Christmas plans since our whole team requested the same week off. I told him that I had the kids for Christmas and really didn’t want to give them up, but could talk to my ex-husband to try to work something out. He said I should do that. Really? You want me to give up Christmas Day with my young children?!

Fuck you!

I woke up this morning itching, my body broken out in hives from the stress.

I didn’t quit job, but it will be very difficult not to while I seek a new opportunity.

Welcome to my journey!

Diamond Jubilee

5 Jun

What exactly is a jubilee?

From watching the Today Show this morning, I can see that the Queen’s Jubilee is an impressive celebration steeped in centuries of tradition and formality! I love it! I enjoy the royal family… I am fascinated by the entire premise of the English Royal Family.

Back to my original question though… What IS a jubilee?!

I’ve been to a jamboree, but it was quite different than this!!

Can anyone shed some light on this??

Welcome to my journey!


4 Jun

Chips, bean dip and a beer.  It’s what’s for dinner.  (I did feed the baby a real dinner.)

Oh, and milk chocolate and white chocolate chips for dessert.


Never a Dull Day.

3 Jun

My ex-husband dropped Baby Boy off this morning around 11:00. I was so excited to see Baby Boy; I hadn’t seen him since Friday morning. After smothering him in hugs and kisses, we got down to playtime and lunch – took a short walk, read lots of books, and then it was time for a nap. Apparently, he needed some rest to really have some energy this afternoon.

After nap and snack… Baby Boy was on fire and ready to play! Here is what happened:

1. Baby Boy knocked over entry way table, crashing it to the floor (I was 5 steps ahead of him and he was absolutely fine).

2. Baby Boy spilled snack all over his shirt.

3. Baby Boy spit and poured water all over the floor.

4. Baby Boy partially emptied 3 kitchen cabinets.

5. Baby Boy sat and stood on the dishwasher door.


It was a crazy afternoon! He was on a roll, and we had a blast!! He is so mobile, and is into everything… um, obviously! He is curious and wants to “help” me, especially when I load/unload the dishwasher. He is fascinated by the dishwasher! He loves the kitchen cabinets! He is learning so much everyday!

I am looking forward to spending the week with him. I am also looking froward to seeing my daughter this weekend.

Welcome to my journey.



Oh, no you didn’t!

2 Jun

I love my children; they are my life.  They are my reason for being.  They are my strength.  They are my laughter.

I will fiercely protect them.  I will let them experience freedom.  I will allow them to try new things and to stretch themselves to achieve things they never imagined they could.  I will love them beyond measure.  I will be the best mom I can be.

It is for this reason that I am livid about a post someone made on my ex-husband’s FaceBook wall.  My ex-husband took my son out for dinner tonight, and posted a picture of my son.  He captioned that it was “men’s night out for the boys”.  Whatever.  Some jerk woman posted a comment that stated “Start ’em young – head to Hooters!” 

Are you fucking kidding me? 

My son is 15 months old; he is a baby.   I don’t even know what she meant by her comment there are so many ways to take that.  Did she mean he should start early by:

  • eating unhealthy, disgusting food?  Yes, I’ve had the wings; I think they are gross.
  •  being exposed to a misogynistic environment?
  • being exposed to a bar?
  • being exposed to boobs and a sexually charged environment?
  • being exposed to his father being hit on by scantily clad women?
  • for some absurd and disgusting reason, being attracted to the women working at Hooters?
  • checking out hot chicks with exposed boobs and hot asses so he can learn that women are meant to be used and not respected?

Because if he is exposed early to an adult enviroment, it would be unhealthy, damaging and inappropriate.

Let me be clear.  I have nothing against the women who are working at Hooters. I have nothing against Hooters.  I do not believe Hooters to be an appropriate place for my baby.  If adults want to go there – have at it.  I don’t care. I have seen the Hooters episode of “Undercover Boss”, and I believe that the waitstaff are not treated well in the restaurants (this is not a fact, but is my belief based on limited knowledge, and one episode of a TV program. I sincerely hope it was an isolated incident in one restaurant and that management immediately corrected the issue).  It is also my belief that there is a positive correlation between the raunchiness of a woman’s appearance, and the way she is treated.  I will also note that my marriage disintegrated over my ex-husband’s infidelity expressed in several ways.  I am particularly sensitive to what my son is going to be exposed to.  And, seriously, he is 15 months old. 

What the fuck?!

Her comment was completely inappropriate and out of line.  I don’t think it is funny. 

Don’t disrespect my son, my child, my baby.  Don’t disrespect women.

Welcome to my journey!



2 Jun

It has been a crazy, emotional week around here!  For me and for my good friends!

Work has been pretty insane as usual, and the short week only intensified it!  Plus, I took a vacation day on Friday, and was on the road Wednesday.  Too much going on, and such limited time to fulfill my work obligations and responsibilities! 

So, this week, my best friend who has two daughters found out she is having a baby boy in Oct.  Another friend who has two boys found out this week that she is having twin girls in Oct.  Another friend who has gone through hell in infertility treatments and a failed adoption attempt found out she is having a baby girl in the fall.  I just love happy baby news!

I had a busy week myself, packing my daughter for summer camp.  This is her first year to go away to camp.  On Friday, I hopped on the bus with her and 15 other girls, and one of my dear friends.  We drove 6 hours to camp.  I spent two hours getting my daughter’s bunk set up, and getting her settled.  Then, another camp mom drove me an hour and a half to the airport to fly home.  My flight was delayed THREE hours!!  Ugh.  So, I tried to fly stand-by on an earlier flight.  Nope.  Full flight.  I got bumped to another stand-by list for an earlier flight that was also delayed.  2nd to last person on the plane; home 30 minutes earlier than my previously scheduled flight.  SCORE!

Taking my daughter to camp was such an emotional experience for me for a number of reasons.  She is going to the same camp Iwent to as a child, well, it is run by the same people on different land.  The traditions and experiences are the same.  The director and her team are the same.  My camp friends are also sending their daughters this summer.  I feel completely comfortable with where my daughter is, and I know she will have such an amazing time.  However, I am struggling!  Part of me is so jealous that she is there; I want to be there too, experiencing one last time!   Part of me (the helicopter mom who comes out occassionally) wants to be there to watch everything she is doing, and watch her blossom!  Part of me wants to be a fly on the wall!  But, I know I need to let her go, and let her have this expereince on her own.

My daughter has taken vacations without me before.  She has spent a week with my mom and other family members.  She is with her father ever other weekend.  However, here is the kicker.  I cannot call to talk to her for a WEEK.  This is a good rule, and is designed to allow her time to settle in, to make new friends, and to prevent her being homesick.  But,  this is really letting go for me!  I’m used to knowing everything that is happening; I talk to my daughter every single day.  I can call the camp at anytime to check on her; I just can’t talk to her directly, unless there is an emergency.  I have mailed letters and a little package to her.  She is getting tons of mail from her family.  She has great counselors in her cabin.  She loves the staff and they love her.  She is fine!

WOW – this is hard.  I am a very pround mother this week. My daughter is so strong, and she was making new friends before I even left!  She was so happy and so excited to be there!

I head back on Friday for closing weekend, and bring her home on Sunday… unless she wants to stay longer!!!

Welcome to my journey!