So, I had a crazy weekend; the kids were with soon-to-be-ex-husband (STBEH) for the weekend. I did a bunch of work around the house. Cleaning, sanitizing, vacuuming, washing laundry, changing sheets. Trying to get the house clean since the kids have been sick for the last few weeks. The problem with this type of cleaning is that it isn’t that noticeable – not like picking up the clutter. Although I knew I had worked my tail off, it wasn’t too noticable! So frustrating! But, I know my kids have a clean house.
I shopped all day on Saturday – looking for some items to orgainze my home office; I work full time from home; I run a small business and I write this blog – I obviously have a multi-purpose office. I have TONS of paperwork. I got a lot organized in there, but still have a long way to go. One of my favorite things I purchased are these hanging pocket folders; I bought teal, and they are a nice punch of color on the wall. And practical for holding stuff. I am using one for the kids’ school stuff and one for my company. Mostly follow up things that I don’t want to permenantly file away just yet! They are working out great!
Work has been insane – so busy, and so much to do. I have also completely re-worked the entire way that I am organizing and following up on work things. It seems to be working so far; although, I have only had one full day to test things out! Lots of color purple and green file folders, teal hanging folders – making the office more cheerful!
STBEH is causing a lot of stress for me. He acted like a real jerk on Friday, and we got into an argument about it. It is so tough. He really wants to work things out; I really cannot see that for us right now. Those conversations are so tough. I am trying so hard to keep our relationship positive… for the sake of ourselves and our children. I feel strongly that we are bonded together for the next 18 years or so so we need to make the best of it, and salvage the relationship so that we can move forwad in a positive way. I think, ultimately, we could be good friends… we are now, but he is trying to work things out. I worry that may change after the divorce.
Living in limbo is tough. I feel like I cannot make any decisions to move forward until everything is final. But, he is keeping us in limbo, wanting to work things out. This makes me very anxious about things. I don’t know where I will live, where I will go, and I can’t really make any plans because now, I have no idea when he will agree to move on. I just want some closure; I feel really held back and constrained in my life because I feel kind of stuck in this place where I can only plan certain parts of my life. It is so stressful. It will be stressful when the decisions need to be made as well.
Watching the Today Show this morning. I don’t know why 911 tapes are ever made public!
Welcome to my journey.
Sarah